Lately I've been thinking a lot about my lack of belief in the gospel, because let's be real: it happens all the time. I know what I should believe, but so often it stays up in my head and doesn't make its way down to my heart. My prayer has been for my belief to sink deep into my bones.
I am at war with myself. My old self was buried with Christ and I was raised to new life with him, but I'm still in the flesh. My heart is still saturated with lies and my emotions still go hay-wire. I fail to believe the gospel. I fail to live in freedom. I fail to glorify God. And as much as I'd like to say that my failures only happen occasionally, they don't.
The good news is, I don't serve an ordinary God.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
-Psalm 73:26
"If we are faithless, he remains faithful - for he cannot deny himself."
-2 Timothy 2:13
His love is unconditional. I didn't earn it in the first place, and I can't ever do anything that will make me deserve it. It is free.
The thing that I most often forget is that God doesn't expect me to be perfect. He knows that I fail, and that's why he sent his Son to be perfect in my place. Even when I'm neck-deep in failure, God still sees perfection, because I am clothed in Christ's righteousness. He is my strength. He is faithful. When I don't believe the gospel in a given moment, that doesn't make it cease to be true. There's nothing I can or can't do that will change reality - I am forgiven and beloved.
God's relentless, unchanging love turns my failure into freedom.
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