God works miracles. Daily. And not just in an abstract, distant place. He works miracles in my heart. The fact that I woke up this morning believing that my heavenly Father loves me and passionately pursues me is a miracle. The fact that I resisted any sin at all because I found my Savior more valuable than satisfying myself is a miracle. The fact that I sit here and recount God's extravagant faithfulness in my life is a miracle.
But guess what?
I don't look for miracles. I don't see them happening all around me. Not because they aren't there, but because I'm looking for fireworks instead the true work of the Holy Spirit.
The American "church camp Christianity" has had a greater impact on how I view the work of the Spirit than I would like to admit. I often don't notice and I disregard the Spirit's work just because it's not emotional or highly experiential. I believe that I'm filled with the Spirit when I have that "spiritual high" and my heart feels like it's on fire. I think that God is somehow closer to me when I participated in a great time of worship and my soul felt every word I was singing. But the longer I walk with God, the more I have realized that he often does not work in a way that is flashy and extremely exciting. No, the Holy Spirit's work is not like fireworks.
As I've been thinking about what the work of the Holy Spirit actually "feels" like (for lack of a better word), I have come to the conclusion that it is much less like fireworks and much more like an anchor. Every day, he is grounding me. He is steadily pulling me towards the truth of the gospel. He is powerfully capturing my heart and making sure I am abiding in the Rock. And he is giving me assurance -- I know that I know that Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. All of my hope is in him, my righteousness.
It's taken time for me to appreciate the Spirit's work as an anchor rather than a firework. I am an entertainment-crazed, gratification-desiring American who wants newness and exhilaration and excitement. Often I just wish God would overwhelm my emotions with an undivided passion for him. I wish that I could experience his presence in an electrifying and overpowering way. But God has shown me that the powerful constancy and grounding of the Spirit are of so much more value than spiritual highs. I truly grow in fellowship with God not when I really "mean" a song in a worship service, but when I choose to live a life of faith and repentance every day, even when it's hard. When I am relying on a surface-level, emotional understanding of the Spirit, I fail to see that the presence of God is as much with me when I am neck-deep in sin as when I am having a perfect day and good works seem natural. The Spirit's work as an anchor convinces me that God has accepted me and loves me completely independent from my performance because Christ is my righteousness. The Spirit's movement, more than anything, is characterized by an increased desire and power to deny myself and instead be concerned with the interests of others and the advance of the kingdom of God. The Spirit's work, while I often perceive it as mundane, is truly a miracle.
Fireworks are for holidays.
The anchor is for daily life.
"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba, Father!' The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs -- heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." - Romans 8:14-18
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